As I sit at my computer trying to type and wipe my nose at the same time, I reflect on the past year of COVID hysteria and unprecedented dumb. I have been jabbed three times. This coming from a woman who does not take the flu shot and would rather drink a hot cup of tea than take drugs. I never get the flu, and normally while good flu-shot citizens drop like flies around me, I survive winter after winter flu-less and cold-less. Not this year.

Christmas Eve my throat tickled and Christmas Day it became a full blown sore throat. But I marched on with a fabulous dinner and bore it stoically. As Boxing Day approached I had swallowed a large frog. As much as I despise going to doctors, I had to pull myself together and go. My doctor’s office was closed for two weeks. Of course, we’re in Germany. How dare we get sick on Christmas. What was I thinking? But I digress. I masked and covered myself burqa-like and made it to a doctor’s office, who in the most prudent manner made me wait outside in the snow because of COVID. This is where stupid hits me like a bag full of nickels. We are all masked but we can’t go inside. And we must maintain distance. So what’s the point of the mask? So I waited with who it seemed half of my town. They are German, they comply.

The doctor irritated by the fact that he was the only one in the area open for business was not exactly Dr. Marcus Welby M.D. He wouldn’t look at my throat but he lifted up my sweater and poked my back with a cold statoscope. He gave me a decongestant and cough medicine and as I rose to leave, he told me to stand by the open window, and true to the script and before I knew it, I was poked in my throat and both nostrils for a COVID test. Again, another moment of stupid occurred at least by my standards; I had to wait up to 12 hours for the test result but I was sent to the pharmacy next door to get the medication and then home. So I guess, COVID does not even hover while waiting for the result. The result a few hours later came negative. I had to download a COVID test AP from the Koch Institute. What happened to Apple downloads just for funky music?

As the days progressed so did my condition which got blown into a sinus infection from hell. So once again I drag myself to the good doctor who was more amiable this time realizing that he had fucked up three days ago. He gave me antibiotics. Had he done that three days before I would not have had to go back to see him. But the new generation of “woke” doctors are now reluctant to make you feel better immediately in case you get addicted to meds like antibiotics. You might start demanding them and they will ruin the liver or whatever. Instead, I took medicinal crap for three days that obviously I really didn’t need. Of course, the fact that my face was swollen and I looked like a cabbage patch doll did not leave much to the imagination. No COVID poking this time. I guess even Marcus Welby realized that being sick in 2021 does not eliminate the common flu, cold, or seasonal winter crud.

Israel just announced an unseasonal rise in flu and flu hospitalization. This made headlines like it’s something out of the ordinary. According to the CDC the number one cause of death in America is heart disease. WHO also places heart disease as the number one cause of death worldwide. Cancer comes in second, and in 2020, COVID came in third. We have no statistics for 2021. Between October 1, 2019 – April 4, 2020, 39-56 million came down with the flu, 410,000 – 740,000 were hospitalized, 24,000 – 62,000 died, and 195 children died. My point: get over ourselves. There are serious diseases out there that kill more people than this virus. Get a grip.

Announcing having a cold or the flu is like announcing a robbery at Tiffany’s. Gradually those around you disappear like rats on a sinking ship. I announced my cold to my family on Sunday. Faces contorted and I could literally hear their thoughts. “Oh my God, she has it.” I had to remind everyone that there is still the common cold around. A lot of people I know came down with COVID despite the vaccines. According to politicians and COVID groupies everywhere they were the good citizens. They took the jab and most probably announced it on FB with a cute picture and sign “I took the Booster”, like they had just saved the world from destruction. Obviously, we’re going to be boosting till doomsday because whatever is in that jab is not doing much good. People are still getting sick. Yes, but they must be going around without a mask, say the COVID aficionados. They wore masks say them. They must not have disinfected their hands. Really? On a normal day we touch door knobs, shopping carts, and a million other public items that have more germs than a petri dish in Wuhan.

I believe that there are those among us who are reveling in the COVID era of restrictions, control, and shame. They follow case numbers as religiously as they follow sport scores. They are social media’s superheroes. They are the righteous, the conformed, the committed (in more ways than one), the COVID warriors. They are the COVID elite. They wallow in self-righteous condemnation of the unworthy. The unvaccinated, the only twice vaccinated, the mask refusers, the rebels of society who should be dragged out into the street and quartered. We have created a COVID club where smug masked vaccinated tyrants pass judgement armed with ignorance and scientific information from talk-show hosts. They are almost disappointed if one is sick with the flu, surely one jests.

COVID is around and will remain around forever because the genie was released from the bottle. In the meantime, big PHARMA is making a killing on “vaccines” that seem to loose their fizz every three months. I’m sure we’re in for the 4th and 5th booster because the virus will again mutilate. The last version is very mild and those who had it suffered less than what I’m going through right now with the flu. But having the flu is almost disappointing to some. A friend of mine just called me and on telling him I was sick with the flu he asked me if I was sure it wasn’t COVID. My confirmation was under whelming. “Oh, so its only the flu”. And just like that my swollen face, my blocked sinus, and runny nose were dismissed like yesterday’s bad lunch. COVID is now a status symbol.

As I pick my nose off the ground where it has fallen from my last three sneezes, I realize that I haven’t had the flu for years. I always prided myself of being healthier than most of my employees half my age. Now I joined the ranks of the flu season sick. Evil conspiracy thoughts have entered my mind, possibly because I have been binge watching Upstairs Downstairs and the Golden Girls for the past week. I feel vulnerable. Did the three vaccines screw up my immune system and I will be subject to the crud every season? Is this a conspiracy by big Pharma who never made a cent from me and are now getting their revenge? Am I a pawn in this big game of subversive government and political control? Come to think of it, am I a pod person? How would I know? Something is definitely wrong with me because I only have the flu. I’m almost disappointed in myself.