Well folks, we now have the scoop. Harry and Meghan are unhappy. They were “forced” to abdicate the financial security the Royal Family coffers afford those who enter its doors. Poor, poor Meghan. She had no idea what she was getting into. A victim of her times, the over 30 narcissism; it must be somebody’s fault.  The couple who swore off publicity and implored the public for privacy for their son’s sake, have etched their names and hung their dirty laundry in every drive-in public toilet of the world. They are the veritable tabloid duo of the decade.  They wallow in self-pity and visceral hatred for the rest of us mere mortals. We don’t understand them.

Unless born under the proverbial rock, or your name is Joe Biden, everyone knows that the British Royal Family is an establishment of rules. They didn’t maintain their money, prestige, and sanity by running naked in the park. The problem with most of women who want to rub elbows with royalty is their desire for fame without the consequential obligations. Diana was a prime example. She married into the family and expected her life to be normal. To be fair to her, she was just a kid when she married Charles, but Meghan has no excuse, she is past her prime and past any minute docile pretense of naivete. She is a calculating woman who knew exactly what she was getting into or she would not have pursued it. Her choices were very transparent, a B actress in a mediocre weekly show or princess. I wonder how long it took her to make that decision.

Royal marriages were never made in heaven. They were planned and executed with calculated political precision. Prospective women and soon to-be royal brides went through years of training in royal protocols and expectations. I doubt that young Queen Victoria or young Queen Elizabeth for that matter even considered being miserable. They were raised to be tough and loyal to the Crown. Girls like Fergie, Diana, and now Meghan; opted for the royal “security” without the pain. If we are to believe the many documentaries, series, and books on the Royals: Royals do not lead normal lives and we hardly expect them to do so. Their lives are not painless, but they are not Gulag living and hard labor either.  Royalty is not made for the faint hearted and obviously the common girl.  Yet, it does not stop women like Meghan to step into the realm and bitch about it.

Harry had a tough psychological life growing up in a split dysfunctional family. Both parents were mental midgets. He also went through the death of his mother at a young age. He has lived in the shadow of a big brother destined to be King, and a father destined to be senile. But he ought to have known through his own experiences, that marrying into his family is taking one’s sanity into one’s hands. There is no normal, and if one expects normal, then one must look elsewhere and not within the gates of Buckingham Palace.

The nauseating Oprah interview was a Hollywood special led by Meghan who used all her B-acting skills to full capacity. Had she done the same on her show, she might have gone farther than a mention in the credits. She is the principal protagonist in the life of two spoilt dysfunctional millennials who expect the world to owe them something. Big brother William and his wife Kate seem very capable in dealing with the strenuous life of the Palace and still lead a reasonable private life. They do not offer fodder to the press and they seem to behave as adults and not reality TV trash.  There is a reasonable amount of “sane” in the Royal Family, it just missed Messer Harry and Meghan.

Meghan had the gall to admit that she would have liked to remain within the family “fold” as security for her son. Archie deserves a title. That of course led immediately to the flavor of the decade accusation aka racism. The favorite narrative when one does not get what one wants. Allegedly, before he was born, Archie’s skin color was being debated as a concern in the Royal household. Only the goddess of Prime Time TV, the one and only Oprah is privy to the royal racist. The royal dynamic duo was careful to state that neither the Queen nor Prince Philip were the racists. How convenient. It works well as an open-door excuse for possible re-admission through the palace’s golden gates and treasure. “Hey Grandma and Grandpa, I said that you were swell, only the others in the family were racist scumbags.” According to the Associated Press, Meghan was “complimentary” to the Queen. I’m sure Her Majesty got her appetite back.

Harry, the poor schmuck admitted that leaving the Royals was not his choice, but thank God for his dear wife who “opened” his eyes to the trap he was in. We should all be that “trapped”. He admitted to no current relationship with his elder brother William, possibly because the latter told him to f—k off. He also does not seem to have a good relationship with his father. Again, possibly because he told his son to grow up and get a job.

I’m not a die hard Royalist but the Queen has managed to rise above the fray of what her dumb kids have put her through these past few decades. She deserves better than these two ingrates throwing mud at her house. She deserves better than her family being dragged through the mud by an opportunist actor and an ungrateful grandson. These two miserable 30 something pinheads lived on taxpayers’ money without remorse. They spent millions on decorating a new home courtesy of the Crown which they never lived in. They were granted millions in resources to keep them in their titles and comfortable. Like any business: one gets paid for fulfilling one’s obligations.  In the midst of a pandemic and high unemployment, listening to their whining is not only painful but offensive.  They need to be taken behind the woodshed and horse whipped.

The Meghans and Harries of this world are entitled leeches. They don’t contribute. They just take. They don’t produce anything but inhale valuable air from the rest of us. They are parasites in a world that seems to enjoy listening to parasites. They will vilify anyone who disagrees with them. They will elevate themselves to martyrdom. Selfishness and self-worth are predominate objectives in their lives. They live in a bubble created by their own self-importance. They kick the hand that feeds them because they have never gone hungry. They are self-appointed champions of the downtrodden without ever being one themselves.  Like a well-oiled Teflon pan, they expect the pain they inflict on others to slide off their backs. They expect a handout without accountability.

None of us knows what goes on behind closed doors, which includes Buckingham Palace: but we all know that living in a palace with a yearly stipend just because your last name is Windsor can’t be all that bad.  We are all aware that Royalty is not for the timid. Marrying into the Family should not be taken lightly. Ms. Markle was not a teenager when she took the Royal plunge and agreed to the pomp and circumstance. She came into the deal with eyes wide open.  She wanted the fame without the responsibility.  Press and publicity go hand in hand with being a public figure and a member of the elite. If she didn’t desire the attention, she should have married a cashier at Aldi and not a prince at Buckingham Palace.

One thing I must thank Harry and Meghan for: for a brief two hours of stupid we forgot about COVID, lockdowns, vaccines, and daily political crap. For two hours we immersed ourselves in a Netflix soap opera worthy of an Emmy. We rolled our eyes and realized that despite our miserable existence of regular folk, we are saner than most, and our families are not that bad after all. Eventually this story like Diana’s and Charles’ infidelity revelations some 30 years ago will be put aside in the wings waiting for some butler or maid who “was there” to tell it all. Eventually, these two entitled ungrateful clowns will only be a caricature in a gossip magazine on a Supermarket shelf. That day can’t come too soon.

I am an idiot Sam I am.

I have been listening to progressive sham.

I need a helping of Green Eggs and Ham,

A Cat in the Hat and Horton too,

To clear my brain from cancel culture poo.

As the modern world cancel culture stupid increases, I find myself looking for that cat in the hat to loan me his tall chapeaus for my exploding brain. “Offensive” has become an art imbibed by those with time on their hands. I guess COVID lockdowns have given the intolerant tolerant more time to up the ante on dumb.  But before putting all the blame on the pathetically inane, I also blame the families of past authors and public figures who are drinking the same Kool-Aid and throwing their relatives who afforded them their comfortable existence under the proverbial bus.

Dr. Suess is the newest victim to the cancel culture offensive morality police. Those of us endowed with the gift of the pen and gab have been preparing “you”, the docile public, for months of the pending censorship doom. A slow progression toward elimination of freedoms enjoyed for two hundred years by Americans in the good ole US of A. Disguised as sensitivity and anti-bigotry narrative, morons have managed to hijack education, universities, politics, and now literature and art. “Offensive” was the cry of the booted Nazi as he burnt Jewish literature in the streets of Berlin. It was the cry of the Bolsheviks as they confiscated literature deemed “offensive” to the Motherland.  Censorship for the good of all is censorship for the good of none.

Like a bulldozer cutting through dirt and thrash, the cancel culture fascists are going after what is deemed in the world of dictatorships as “harmful” to society. Their society. The bulldozer has gone after past presidents to include Lincoln, the champion of emancipation from slavery. It continued down Sesame Street, putting Big Bird, Bert, Ernie, Elmo, Kermit, the Cookie Monster and other “undesirables” on the Most Wanted List. Rumbling down the street the progressive bulldozer will eventually come after your Bible, Quran, and any other book deemed “offensive” by a minority of soft brained morons.

Theodor Seuss Geisel was a genius. He managed to write simple repetitive prose which allowed kids as young as toddler age to start reading. My children both started reading at three years of age, thanks to Dr. Seuss. His books took children to a world of imagination and simple ethics by defining right from wrong in a manner that was non-threatening and easily understood. The Grinch Who Stole Christmas personified good over evil with cutting edge creativity portrayed in the Who’s innocence against the Grinch’s wickedness, who at the end felt the “spirit” of Christmas and converted.  A library of well thought children’s literature that educated young minds through the quagmire of life. Imaginative narrations that sought to teach and remind that albeit the world is diverse, and often difficult, it ultimately can reform and be good. A genius in simplicity.

Enter the pinheads. According to the family of Theodore, they received complaints from teachers, academics, and specialists about the books being non-compliant in diversity. A good reason to revoke some teachers’ certificates, fire morons on campuses, and ignore those who think they know better than we do. These mental midgets found the books rife in “orientalism, antiblackness, and white supremacy”. You heard that right folks. Dr. Suess wore a white sheet and burnt crosses on front porches. According to intellectual buffoons like “researchers” Katie Ishizuka and Ramon Stephens, in the 2,240 characters created by Geisel, only 45 were of color. Messer Ishizuka and Stephens wrote a paper on Research on Diversity in Youth Literature and “studied” 50 Dr. Suess books written over the span of 70 years. They decided that some books smacked of “orientalism” because characters were drawn wearing turbans. Can’t make this up. The angst didn’t stop there: even the “animals transmitted” orientalism, antiblackness, and white supremacy. The “study” went on to conclude that throughout his books, Dr. Seuss “degraded and dehumanized across his hundreds of racist works.” At this point, I don’t know who is worse, the research idiots or the yahoo family.

To put everything into perspective: Theodore Seuss Geisel was anti-isolationist and critical of anti-Semitism. He was anything but a bigot. During WWII he brought attention to the evil of Nazism through his political cartoons that were scathingly in-your-face in revealing the Jewish plight in Europe. This has been lost on the ignorant critics like Messer Ishizuka and Stephens’ labeling of Geisel as a “racist political cartoonist”. The idiocy of that statement is further compounded by the fact that in 1939 Geisel faced opposition as an avid supporter of Jews at home and abroad. The US under the FDR administration was not very open to receiving Jewish migrants. But that’s not all. Under the same administration, an executive order was signed ordering segregation in wartime factories, prompting Geisel, a big civil rights activist to publish cartoons against this order, making him a “rare voice” during war time. Another little-known fact about Geisel; he wrote “Horton Hears a Who” as an apology for the interment of Japanese Americans during WWII. He wrote the book after a visit to Hiroshima, Japan. He also apologized for a cartoon he had published stereotyping the American Japanese as the enemy.  

“Offensive” has become the passport to a cancel culture that is intolerant, prejudiced, bigoted, and ignorant. If we have to start cancelling offensive material, how about some Rap songs rife with violence, vulgarity, and demeaning to women? How about censoring politicians as they label opposing opinion or people as racist, deplorable, stupid, and other descriptive verbiage of that ilk? How about certain Congresswomen calling Jews ‘little Benjamins”? I’m constantly offended at stupid. I find our Speaker of the House offensive. She gives women a bad name. I find Mrs. Clinton offensive. She gives pant suits and truth a bad name. I find Congresswoman AOC offensive. She gives brains a bad name. I find most mainstream media offensive because they bloviate.

The destruction of literature and art is nothing new. Dictatorships and totalitarians find them offensive and unacceptable because they open up minds to possibilities adverse to the mundane. Freedom of thought is not conducive to control. Control the brain and the rest of the person follows. Books written in the past give us a glimpse into the good, bad, and the ugly of a world our parents and grandparents lived in. Those written today illustrate our persona in a moment in time that generations from now will hopefully learn from. Each word, picture, idea, and sentence is written with the author’s or artist’s view of the world as he or sees it at that particular moment in time. It will live forever to either admire or admonish. Whichever one it falls under, future generations will and should learn from it. No good is accomplished without the evil that precedes it. If we are to learn from our mistakes, we must maintain a copy of those mistakes for posterity and not to be repeated. It was through the written word that we learned about the horrors of the Holocaust and slavery. That might all change if we allow the cancel culture morons to succeed.

Horton saved Whoville

Ain’t that swell,

He saved it from evil

But who can tell?

We need a Horton

We need him right now,

To save our Whoville

From the cancel crowd.

We need the Cat

To show us more tricks

On how to stop madness

From spoiling Whoville.

I say to all Whovilles

Don’t let them get away,

With taking our books

Our literature away.

Let’s get the Grinch

To play a cool trick

And drive all the pinheads,

From Whoville forthwith.

Dr. Seuss decision followed lengthy study of racist themes in his books (nypost.com)

8 Of Dr. Seuss’s Best Political Cartoons (theodysseyonline.com)