Je suis Babylon Bee: fighting for the right of humor

Moving toward the craziest of times I need some satire in my life.  But even that seems to have been hijacked by the social media “conscience”, aka the FaceBook “community”. FaceBook recently took aim at Babylon BeeBabylon Bee is the answer to the elevation of “stupid” to “serious” by the current generation of humorless goofs. Recently, Babylon Bee was sanctioned by FaceBook for alleged violation of its “standards”.  Whatever those are. FaceBook is now the social media morality police. They want to save us from ourselves.  Big Brother is watching.

What is Babylon Bee? Babylon Bee is the equivalent of Mad Magazine without paper. Scathingly irreverent and uniquely witty, it takes to task anyone from the Pope to the President with the same cutting edge of a surgeon. Provocative headlines give those of us eager to escape from madness disguised as politics, an opportunity to look at the world in the same light as an episode of Saturday Night Live without an audience.  A harmless parody in difficult times. A relief from the constant bombardment of bad news. A smile with a cup of Joe reminiscent of lazy Sunday mornings when newspapers and weekend cartoons were significant.

Who cares?

A couple of weeks ago, Babylon Bee headlined that NBA players decided to wear white lacy collars in honor of RBG’s death.  A doctored picture showed two famous players in lace and a mean smile. Limpid liberal loons took to the airwaves in unprecedented umbrage and offence. The loony left sans sense of humor and wit. Poster children to boorish victimization activism without tolerance. Meaningless minds. A  generation of humorless boring millennials who continue to forge forward in futile attempts at reducing our sense of humor and elevating stupid into relevance.  There is no joy left in comedy or satire.  A new  society fraught with malcontent and self loathing ignorance.

Now Supreme Court Justice Amy Barrett

But back to Babylon Bee.  A few weeks ago amidst the Amy Barrett circus of  indignation, anti-Catholic narrative, misguided feminism, and total disregard to decorum or minute intelligence; Babylon Bee published a pseudo Monty Python analogy entitled, “Senator Hirono Demands ACB Be Weighed Against a Duck to See if She is a Witch”.  A tongue-in-cheek reference to the continual hounding of Ms. Barrett’s Catholicism and faith by the insidious and belligerent Ms. Hirono. Senator Hirono came close to accusing Ms. Barrett of sexually assaulting people because of her Catholic beliefs. Babylon Bee extrapolated on the arrogant ignorance of Ms. Hirono and other Democrats’ attempt at insinuating that Ms. Barrett’s Catholicism was on par with witchcraft. Babylon Bee took on the parody with gusto and style.  

In a now all too familiar Babylon Bee satirical prose, the parody alleged that Senator Hirono compared Ms. Barrett to a witch.  Common knowledge attests to the fact that witches are made out of wood and can float like ducks. Therefore, it is correct to assume that if Ms. Barrett should be weighed against a duck and consequently floats, she should be burnt at the stake as a witch. To those of us with an ounce of humor find the analogy funny and an ice breaker in months of misery.  But no.  Our freedom of speech and creativity is on a short leash nowadays.  We are at the mercy of FaceBook and the like who find it necessary to mentor us on what is considered funny or offensive. We must abide by their “community” rules. A social media Gulag in the making.

Kyle Mann Editor in Chief: Babylon Bee

When satire is censored, we are satirically doomed.  Remember Charlie Hebdo?  The continual deterioration of our creative freedom and the chipping away of fundamental free thought has reached epidemic proportions.  

Babylon Bee, albeit accused of conservative leaning, has made fun of everyone to include President Trump.  In a recent interview with the New York Times, Babylon Bee Editor in Chief, Kyle Mann, expressed the site’s unadulterated pleasure in tormenting Trump when he fails to realize that their site is satire. What is better than that? We need more of Babylon Bee and its counterpart The Onion in our daily lives. The latter is liberal leaning but just as satirical and funny.  And like Babylon Bee takes the “mickey” out of everyone on the same scale.  Both provocateurs that are essential to the well being of our psyche.

As  we brace ourselves for an election that is going to bring massive angst regardless of who wins; we need the unabashed often offensive humor of satire and satirical publications like Babylon Bee and The Onion. They provide the insane to keep us sane.  They peel away the stupid like a raw onion.  They push us into admitting that we are borderline morons.  Most of all they reveal the arrogance and self adulation political crap that we are subjected to on daily basis. They strip the veneer to reveal high cost salaried pinheads.  The burden of taxpayers.  The ducks that float.  They should be burnt alive.

Since the Hirono debacle, FaceBook went to the social media confessional and made penance.  They admitted to having been too hasty.  You think?  But don’t be fooled by their self serving penitent stance. They got caught for the idiots they are, pandering to political special interest groups who have managed to stifle our freedom of speech in lieu of partisan agendas.

We have managed to raise a generation of boring unappreciative goofs bent on being miserable.  They wallow in self absorbed righteousness. A gradual morphing of ingrate boring morons. The new entitled generation who expects the government to be their private sugar daddy.  But their misguided boorishness is not entirely their fault.  It has taken years of indoctrination at schools and universities to achieve such a caliber of brainwashed fools. The “woke” welfare society unable to provide for themselves. Hold on to your seats because we’re in for a bumpy ride.

The censorship of Babylon Bee should be a wake-up call to anyone with an ounce of awareness.  The path to stifling free speech is widening.  We are rapidly approaching a precipice of censorship without reason. The quick silencing of opposing opinion in politics should bring goosebumps to our skin. The demonization of faiths and traditional ideals is creating a cesspool of hate toward individualism and freedom of speech. Racism and bigotry is easily labeled to those opposing mainstream lemming thinking and indoctrination to silence discourse.  When parody is labeled dangerous to the State, we might as well ask Putin for advice on free speech. 

From Brooklyn to the Supreme Court – Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Agree with her or not, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, fondly known by her “rock star” status as RBG, was a giant in the world of justice and law.  Even keeled and unmovable in her ideals, she served on the Supreme Court for 27 years. Attempting to sum up this woman is like trying to put a genie back in the bottle.  It’s impossible, because her life was multi-dimensional, and just when I thought I knew everything there is to know about her, I discovered more.

RBG was born in Brooklyn at a time when women’s lives were predetermined between marriage, motherhood, or secretary.  No matter how many women attended university or colleges, they could never put their foot in the door let alone enter the room. But RBG broke the mold on timidity and challenged everyone and everything that stood in her way.  According to biographers and interviewers, RBG gave credit to her mother for inheriting tenacity genes. Unfortunately, Ruth’s mother died the day before Ruth graduated from High School.

Ruth’s determination toward success started at 17, when she received a full scholarship to Cornell University. There she met her soon-to-be husband, Marty.  He fell in love with her because “she had a brain”. When Marty joined the service they moved to Fort Sill, Oklahoma.  Ruth took the civil service exam, but her high scores were irrelevant and she could only get a job as a typist.  When she got pregnant, true to form, she lost her job.

Two years later, both she and her husband returned to the East Coast and were admitted to Harvard Law School.  It was tough for the nine women who were “accepted” amid 500 men.  At one time, the Dean asked Ruth why she would allow herself to take a place that “should go to a man”.  This gave Ruth the incentive to become an academic star.  She outpaced her husband.

Juggling law school, a toddler, and a household; Ruth took on life with a vengeance.  When Marty was diagnosed with testicular cancer, Ruth became his caregiver; he dictated his law assignments which she typed well into the night.  After which she would start with her own studies. In a 1993 interview, Marty marveled at his wife who had taken care of a three year-old, a sick husband, and attended classes.  Marty survived the cancer and graduated.  When he got a job in New York City, Ruth transferred to Columbia University Law School, where she managed to graduate top of her class.

But being a woman lawyer did not exactly open doors to employment opportunities.  Although recommended for Supreme Court Clerk, she was not even interviewed.  In an all male judge pool, females, especially married ones were not welcomed. They were presumed distracted by family obligations. But Ruth had a mentor and law professor who believed in her ability to achieve.  Gerald Gunther was renowned in finding the best court clerks for judges.  One particular judge was Judge Palmieri. Palmieri demanded the best, and Gerald sent him Ruth, with the proviso that if he didn’t give her a chance he would not send Palmieri any future clerks.  The bait was taken, and Ruth clerked with Palmieri for two years.

RBG was a prolific woman who found ways that would enhance either her work or her life.  She went through lengths to accomplish a project or an opportunity. When at Columbia, she learned Swedish.  She wanted to work with Anders Bruzelius, a Swedish Civil Procedure Scholar who was writing a book through the Columbia University School of Law Project on International procedure. RBG ended up co-authoring the book.

In 1963, RBG landed a teaching job at Rutgers Law School.  She was also pregnant with her second child.  Knowing full well that she would be fired, she hid her “bump” under her mother-in-law’s clothes.  She landed a second contract with the school before the baby was born. It was at Rutgers that Ruth started her gender discrimination crusade.

Her first big case she nicknamed “The Mother Brief”. At that time the IRS only recognized women’s claims for tax deduction for taking care of elderly family members; widowed men, or divorced individuals were disqualified. A Colorado man, Charles Moritz, had been caring for his 89 year-old mother without eligibility for tax deductions because of his single male status. The Internal Revenue Code stated that Charles’ status was immune to Constitutional challenge, at which Ruth replied “preposterous”.  She teamed up with her husband and they tackled the case on both fronts. Her husband took on the tax perspective while Ruth took on the Constitutional aspect of the case. The case was won in lower courts by asking the courts not to invalidate the statute but to apply it equally for both sexes. Eventually the government petitioned the US Supreme Court on the unconstitutionality of hundreds of federal statutes.  For the next 10 years, Ruth litigated all of them.

In 1971, she delivered her first Supreme Court brief in Reed v Reed. Ruth represented Sally Reed who was asking to be the executor of her son’s estate.  Once again the law automatically discriminated against women executors giving the right automatically to Sally’s ex-husband. Ruth litigated on the constitutionality of a State that automatically prefers men over women as executors of an estate. The Supreme Court ruled in Ruth’s favor and struck down the law as discriminatory toward women.

Ruth became the first tenured professor at Columbia University. She founded the Women’s Rights Project at the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU). Her object in life was winning women’s rights. She knew that she had to approach her ideals by persuading men that equality was a fundamental right for everybody. She took on cases with male plaintiffs to demonstrate that discrimination against women can often harm men. In Weinberger v Wiesenfeld, Ruth represented a man whose wife had died in childbirth.  She had been the sole breadwinner. Her husband was seeking survivor’s benefits to raise his son.  But existing Social Security laws did not recognize widowers as eligible survivors, only widows. She litigated that absolute exclusion against female workers harmed their spouses and their children. The Supreme Court agreed.  Throughout her career and litigations, Ruth argued that the 14th Amendment was not only about race and ethnicity, but also about women.

In 1980, President Jimmy Carter appointed RBG to the US Courts of Appeal for the District of Columbia Circuit. In 1993, President Bill Clinton nominated her to the Supreme Court. She was not his first choice. He was being pressured by women activists who were critical of her stand on abortion.  She had publicly criticized the legality of Roe v Wade. A small fact that is conveniently ignored. She was confirmed in an overwhelming vote of 96-3.  She became the second woman on the Supreme Court next to Sandra Day O’Connor.

Although small and demure, RBG had an appetite for life that astonished those around her.  She rode horses and parasailed into her 70’s. Her closest friend was Judge Antonin Scalia, her conservative counterpart who passed away in 2016.  Their unusual friendship spawned an Opera, Scalia/Ginsburg based on their legal disagreements and ultimate affection for one another.  They both had brilliant minds and their strong friendship was sustained through their respect for each other.

Over the years she rose to the Supreme Court seniority, but her passion was and remained; women’s rights. Her soft demeanor but sharp wit and mind won over conservative judges to her side especially in important cases.  Such a case was the 2015 court’s decision to uphold independent redistricting commissions established by voter referendum. This was aimed at removing partisanship legislative district lines.

In Burwell v Hobby Lobby, Ruth gave the dissent on for-profit companies’ non compliance with the mandate that they provide contraception as part of their employees’ health plan.  Hobby Lobby fought the case under “religious grounds”.  She based her argument on their argument.  How far can “religious grounds” go? Can an employer deny equal pay or minimum wage under a religious claim? It was this unrelenting tenacity that won her the respect of her fellow judges on both side of the aisle.

Starting in 1999, Ruth fought with colon cancer, pancreatic cancer, lung cancer, and liver lesions.  Yet through it all she never shirked her job or gave less of her life. In 2009, just three weeks after a major pancreatic cancer surgery, she sat at the State of the Union address.  When her husband died, she was back on the bench the next day. He left her a letter of encouragement before he died. Years later she admitted that she had gone to work “for him”.  He would have wanted her to.

Chief Justice John Roberts described her as a “tireless and resolute champion of justice”. Ruth Bader Ginsburg was a revolutionary. In 1996, she took on the Virginia Military Institute for not allowing women cadets to apply. Her scathing remarks were to the point; “rigorous training should not ban women from the same opportunities”.

RBG had a sense of humor and found it easy to laugh at herself.  During the 2015 State of the Union address she was caught napping on camera.  She admitted that she had succumbed to wine at dinner which relaxed her. She also admitted that she was not entirely a “sober judge”.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg will always be remembered for her razor sharp mind. But she will also be remembered for her unabashed belief in women’s rights. Her arguments and dissents albeit fraught with judicial verbiage that most of us don’t understand, asked one scathing question: Why not? Why can’t a woman be that or do that? I can’t say that I have always agreed with her dissents, but I respected the arguments and passion behind them.  She fought for those who were systematically and legally excluded from opportunities on basis of gender. She fought for us. RBG was genuine. Judge Thomas summed her up succinctly: she was the “essence of grace, civility and dignity”. Rest in Peace RBG. Aleha ha-Shalom.

When the FDA plays politics…

There is nothing worse than watching a dear friend wait for the inevitable; the slow process toward terminality. I have such a friend. A dear friend. Once active and energetic, he is now at the mercy of Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis; better known as Lou Gehrig’s disease or ALS. The disease that creeps through one’s body insidiously and painfully.  Like thousands of ALS patients, my friend is patiently waiting for reprieve. He and others like him are at the mercy of the FDA.

Lou Gehrig

Until recently, I had never met anyone with ALS or knew much about it. But watching my friend’s silent endurance compelled me to educate myself, and hopefully others. ALS raises its head slowly and often undetected until too late.  Twitching, slurring of speech, and weakness in the muscles are often the first signs of the deadly disease. Eventually, all muscle movement, speech, breathing, and food intake becomes difficult, painful, and ultimately fatal. The domino effect of nerve cell deterioration gradually breaks down motor neurons in the body.  These are the cells that control voluntary muscle movements like walking and talking.  Because motor neuron cells extend from our brain to our spinal cord, when damaged,  they stop sending “messages” to our muscles that give movement commands. There is no medical magical formula that determines the rate of deterioration.

A few years ago we all remember the “ice bucket” challenge that was supposed to raise money and awareness for ALS patients.  $115 million were raised for alleged research.  ALS patients have yet to realize any benefit from the fund raiser.  They have been waiting in earnest for the promised research to materialize.  Time is not on any ALS patient’s side. Unlike other diseases, ALS can morph into terminal at a blink of an eye.  ALS patients do not have the luxury of waiting. The frustration is not with drug or research firms, but with the FDA. 

For a long time, drugs and treatments slowed the deterioration down rather than reversing it; until now.  A small Israeli firm, Brainstorm Cell Therapeutics has developed and is testing a new drug and process called NurOwn.  What is different and giving hope to the millions afflicted by ALS, are NurOwn’s results.  Unlike other drugs and treatments that only slowed down or stopped (often just temporarily) the deteriorating process, NurOwn has the capability of complete reversal. The process is in its third phase, which means it has already been tested on humans.  If the NurOwn induced ALS process is successful, it can also treat other neurodegenerative disease like Parkinson’s and multiple sclerosis. 

NurOwn uses cell stem technology. Bone marrow cells are extracted from the patient, matured, and injected back to rebuild deteriorated brain cell blocks. During maturation, the bone marrow cells are manipulated into behaving like normal brain cells.  Once injected back, they circulate in the spinal fluid and back into the brain repairing it.  A reverse process to the initial onset of the disease. 

The Right to Try Act was passed in 2018, allegedly giving terminally ill patients access to experimental treatments.  ALS patients have been asking the FDA to fast track the Brainstorm treatment the same way they had done with AIDS. Phase three of testing is in progress and awaiting conclusion if it weren’t for COVID.  We have stopped research and treatments for terminal diseases in lieu of finding a vaccine for a virus which people are recovering from. Despite the number of COVID cases reported, the majority of them recover.  You don’t hear that on cable news networks. But like AIDS in the 80’s, COVID is now an election campaign issue elevated to unprecedented political heights at the expense of terminal diseases.

We are into the 11th year of NurOwn’s research, but the FDA drags its feet holding bio-pharma companies responsible to outdated strict regulations while at the same time asking them to foot the bill.  It takes approximately 12 years and billions of dollars between the creation of a drug in the lab and approval by the FDA.  The FDA requires continual testing; often on terminal ill patients waiting for a cure.  Some patients fight the US Government for the right to be tested. But in many cases and unbeknownst to them, they are given placebos. Small companies like Brainstorm cannot afford to make the drug available to the general public and insurers unless the FDA approves it.  Right now, NurOwn’s one-time treatment is a five figure amount. The treatment needs to be repeated. The average life expectancy of an ALS patient is three to four years. Do the math.

When a government organization like the FDA plays politics, people die.  When the FDA picks and chooses who has life priority, it becomes irrelevant. Why should approval of a much needed drug or treatment take so long, especially when it has already been tested? The FDA claims that there are already drugs dealing with ALS. Unfortunately for ALS patients, their disease does not have biomarkers.  Cancer research looks for a tumor, a measurable end point which gives researchers a reference toward a cure.  ALS does not have a rating scale.  One either gets better or not.  No two individuals can be measured equally across the board.  That is why NurOwn is different. It is individualistic through the patient’s own stem cell recovery.  It is unique to each patient.

Some politicians did step up to the plate and written to FDA commissioner asking for  parallel research track to be given to ALS as it was given to the AIDS epidemic in the 80’s. Senators Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio, Mike Braun, and Mike Lee are putting pressure on the FDA to give ALS patients access to NurOwn research under the Right to Try Act.  In the meantime, my friend is among the 5,000 who are annually diagnosed with ALS. He is also one of the many waiting for the FDA to get its finger out and help him. According to the FDA, the reason that ALS testing takes so long is because the number of people afflicted with the disease is not large enough to get a good sample.  How encouraging. Tell that to the 20,000 or so Americans known to have the disease, the 5,000 more who will be afflicted by it, and the thousands that have already died.

Like any degenerative disease, the pain and suffering does not belong only to the patient, but also to his family.  Spouses, children, and friends stand by and watch with agony as their loved ones recede into another world of immobility. Their lives stand still between doing all they can to ease discomfort and pain, and a distant hope of recovery through a new drug discovery.  In this case, there is a new drug discovery that could bring relief to my friend, his family, and the thousands waiting patiently in immobilizing pain. 

There are the Naysayers who want more tests and research into NurOwn, but they are not afflicted by the disease.  As one spouse of an ALS patient so aptly put it:” Quite frankly, when I hear people express that is might be risky or dangerous, an ALS patient such as my wife could care less!  How many ALS patients will die in the next year waiting for a possible effective treatment?” 

The FDA has three objectives; reputation, lobbying, and politics. It protects its reputation first, then aligns itself to profitable lobbyists, and finally turns its attention to the politics of the moment. COVID is the politics of the current moment, just as AIDS was in the 80’s. Media coverage does not help either.  The media sways toward the political agenda of their choice. The FDA follows suit.

The FDA weighs reputation, politics, and lobbying against its decision to approve a drug.  Its reputation as guardian of public health, has done very little for ALS patients. It’s politics have done even less. The FDA’s strong bureaucratic autonomy operates at the expense of terminal patients and drug availability that can save lives. NurOwn is caught in this vicious bureaucratic triangle at the expense of my friend. Wrong does not start to describe it.

So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, goodbye…

The relationship between Germany and the US has a pseudo Machiavellian feel to it.  It’s a love and hate friendship that lasted 75 years.  Born out of the ashes of WWII, the Marshall Plan, the Cold War, and of course 9/11; the “on and off” surreal love affair managed to outlive politics and politicians.  But Donald Trump is not a politician. And even Frau Merkel was no match to his impulsive “cowboy diplomacy”.  But NATO acquiesced to an agreement, and the Secretary of Defense announced the 11,900 re-alignment of troops from Germany to other locations in Europe or back to the US.  The angst has started in earnest, and for good reason.

 Let’s not be fooled.  Although not as scathingly loud, brash, and often downright rude;   former Presidents from Clinton to Obama silently complained of the unfair contribution toward European and Gulf security by rich European nations like Germany, which barely contributes enough to manage its own military.

It’s common knowledge that Germany lacks behind in hardware. Old equipment and aircraft have rendered the German Bundesweher impotent in any conflict.  Their outdated armor can’t defend a brawl at a wine fest.  Once the pride of Europe, German military would not stand a chance deterring anyone coming across the borders not even red ants. Their air force is no better. The ranking in NATO contribution between 2013-2019 is an eye opener:

CountryGDP %

Germany and other elitist old Western European nations barely make it past 1.80%.  Turkey stands at 1.89%.  Germany’s percentage has remained steady at 1.38% with a left- handed promise from Frau Merkel that Germany would reach its 2.0% target by 2034! We should have warp drive by then.  In the meantime, the US pumps billions of Euros into the German economy, its defense, and the defense of the rest of Europe.  Albeit the fact that the US has self interests in keeping Europe safe, it has taken on the posture of the main parent in a family of dysfunctional children.

Those of us who have  lived and served in Europe since the 1970’s have a more down to earth perspective.   We lived through terrorist attacks in the 70’s and early 80’s which compelled the US military to teach us how to “inspect” our private owned vehicles for explosive devices.  We checked under the wheels and under our vehicles for anything that we might consider “unusual” lest we get blown up.   We attended NEO briefings in case of a Communist invasion. And we had to keep supplies and packed luggage at a ready in case of an immediate evacuation.

The German Red Army Faction and its “friends” in other Western European countries ran rampant and rogue.  Their objective was to kill Americans and those associated with them. Among their most nefarious deeds was the killing of several airmen on Rhein Main Air Base on the outskirts of Frankfurt. They stole a US registered vehicle and drove it on base to the HQ building and blew it up killing several airmen.  Another famous terror attack targeted a West Berlin nightclub frequented mostly by US service members. It was spring 1986 when an RAF bomb killed four Americans and injured 155.  That was Germany during the Cold War. That was the Germany we lived in.

Not a weekend goes by that a protest perpetrated by the far left or far right does not stop US Forces traffic through the gates at Ramstein Air Base, or Stuttgart, or even Wiesbaden. We’ve gone through anti-nuke protests, Army Go Home graffiti, and complaints in Stuttgart, Ansbach, Ramstein, and Spangdahlen citing aircraft noise, and military traffic.  The latest “persecution” of US Service Members and DoD civilians is happening within the Rheinland Pfalz region where the highest concentration of US soldiers and Airmen are located and live.  A few kilometers from Ramstein, Landstuhl Regional Hospital, Baumholder, and Kaiserslautern, the Rheinland Pfalz government is going after US Service Members married to German spouses for alleged tax evasion. Despite the fact that US Service Members and DoD civilians are exempt from VAT under SOFA, the local government chooses to “interpret” the SOFA agreement egregiously demanding thousands of Euros from US soldiers and airmen in back taxes.  The loosened interpretation conveniently assumes that once the spouse is German, the intent is to remain in Germany.  Germany is the only country with a SOFA agreement attempting such a nebulous attempt at collecting revenue from US Service members and their families stationed overseas.

Then there is the expense.  A few weeks ago, in a futile attempt at self promoting NATO-US support, the German government indignantly stated that in 10 years it had spent 1 Billion Euros in US Military support.  That equates to approximately 10 million Euros a year. A drop in the proverbial bucket compared to the approximate 8.125 billion Euros the US spends annually in salaries to local nationals, benefits to local nationals, utilities to local governments, fees to local contractors, leasing expenses to local landlords, local maintenance, repairs, and environmental regulation expenses. In the meantime, Americans contribute an approximate additional annual 2 billion Euros to local businesses in services directly correlated to their presence. These include rentals, restaurants, local stores, and travel. Tax Free car dealerships and local furniture stores sprout like weeds outside US garrisons and Bases. Their livelihood depends on the US presence in their respective areas.

That was the “hate” portion of the German-American relationship;  but there is also a lot of love.  We have lived in Germany since 1985.  From Bremerhaven to Frankfurt, and finally Bavaria; we made friendships and connections to last us a lifetime. Germans albeit reserved, once thawed, will remain the best of friends forever.  The ties between the US and Germany go back hundreds of years through immigration, WWII, and Elvis Presley. 

Elvis Presley: Ray Barracks, Friedberg, 1958

My short stint on Friedberg’s Ray Barracks, taught me that the 3rd Armor Division liberated Hessen, but Elvis liberated the Germans.  Elvis spent two years on Ray Barracks, Friedberg, as the personal driver to the Brigade Commander.  He also spent a few weeks training on Grafenwohr Training Area. Every year, the love of Elvis gathers thousands of Germans and Americans at Bad Nauheim, four kilometers from Friedberg, to celebrate  his birthday or memorialize his death. Elvis lived in Bad Nauheim with his father for the duration of his Army tour in Germany. This was where in the summer of 1959, Priscilla was driven over from Wiesbaden to meet him, where a shrine still stands at the front door of the hotel Grunewald where he lived at, and  where “Wooden Heart” still plays loud in English and German.  Elvis chose to live off post to deter unnecessary commotion at the front gate of Ray Barracks where screaming girls became the norm.

Hotel Grunwald, Bad Nauheim

Except for this COVID year, one of the largest German-American Fest is held in our military neighborhood of Grafenwoehr. Over 150,000 Germans brave the elements for a taste of hamburgers cooked by GI’s, American Ice Cream, American Country and Western Music, and a look at some US Army hardware on display. Such fests are held on all US facilities all over Germany.  That’s when nukes, climate change, politics, and Army Go Home are put aside for a good ol’e fashioned shindig which only Americans know how to throw. It’s not unusual to see Germans in cowboy hats, cowboy boots, and country shirts and skirts doing line dancing with the best of them.

In many locations where US presence is predominant, local vendors accept dollars instead of Euros.  US families send their kids to local German kindergartens.  Eventually the kids will learn German and start translating for their parents. Omas and Opas in small neighborhoods and villages become the ultimate day care providers, teaching American kids how to speak German and liking German food.  It’s not unusual to see teary eyed German neighbors wave goodbye to American families as they pack and leave their neighborhoods to go back to the States. They hug as they invite each other to the opposite side of the pond. Let us not forget the many German spouses who married Americans and moved to the US only to return and retire in Germany. Germany has the largest number of recorded military retirees in the world. Most of us chose to retiree in Germany close to a US military installation for the continual connection to the US military which we had known all our lives, but also for the tranquility of German life.  We live and thrive in German neighborhoods where we are accepted with love by German neighbors.

Americans in Germany contribute to the local lore that most US installations past and present provide German communities.  My neighbors recall Americans on the German Caserne in our neighborhood. They fondly recall  American families who were stationed here many years ago and returned for visits.  They tell of attending American Thanksgivings, and 4th of July .  There isn’t an American family that does not own at least one Dirndl or Lederhosen.  There are no Bretzels like Bavarian Bretzels.  Sorry NYC.  Schnitzel, kase spatzle, leberkase, and beer are extraordinary, especially if eaten at a local Gasthaus or fest in beautiful Bavaria.

The reality is that our presence in Germany was not supposed to be permanent.  The Marshall Plan was a startup attempt at getting a devastated country on its feet.  But the Cold War changed all of that.  Eventually families started accompanying service members, and the rest is history. But closing a US installation is psychologically devastating for local populations. I recall the town of Bamberg in tears as the US Installation that had been there since WWII closed its doors for the last time.  After the speeches and the rhetoric, the local German population sat with the remaining Americans and reminisced and cried.  A family had been broken.  This was 2012.  I was there for the closure.  Locals still walk past the locked gates of USAG Bamberg wistfully and sad. 

Germans remember when Americans numbered in the thousands, bringing with them an American way of life they only watched on a movie screen and often yearned for.  In contrast to the quiet and disciplined German characteristics, Americans are loud, brash, and often undisciplined.  But most Germans, especially older ones, remember and appreciate the fact that it was these Americans who kept them safe in places like Grafenwoehr, only 35 kilometers from the former Communist Czechoslovakia border. They remember Cold War West Berlin, where flights from West Germany kept the population fed and warm right after the Russian blockade.  They remember Fulda, where the famous “Fulda Gap” was located. A nickname derived from the fact that it was the determined point of entry of choice by Communist Eastern Bloc should they have chosen to invade.  From the North, to the South, to the East, and the West; during the Cold War, US presence in Europe numbered approximately 250,000. 

We made Germany our country of choice because we have always felt “at home” here.  Our small Bavarian neighborhood nestled in the hills and valleys of the Oberphalz is picture perfect. It brings to us harmony and peace in a world full of crazy.  Many Americans in Germany feel safer than in their own country.  COVID and other insane happening in the land of the free prompted some of them to extend their stay in Germany. Is it the end of an era?  Probably. It had to come sooner than later.  One thing for sure: every administration from Bush senior downwards could have prevented a Putin in Russia, but the pressure for “peace” and dismantling of US assets in Germany after the Cold War, left an open path for Russia to regroup. That’s politics and politicians. Votes outweigh common sense.

As gates to US Installations start closing, thousands of Germans are now anticipating the inevitable. Loss of income. I’ve grown to love and respect many local nationals who I worked with in my capacity as DoD contractor. Many have worked and supported the military since they were teens. They are our neighbors and friends. Not much to do at this point but wait and see. Is it goodbye or Auf Wiedersehen…till we see you again!

Statues, monuments, and morons-oh my!

The United States is at cross roads, absurd to the left and irrelevance to the right.  The latest victim to absurdity is the cry for the removal of Theodore Roosevelt’s statue from New York’s American Museum of Natural History.  This absurdity is further propagated by the  buffoonery of NYC Mayor De Blasio and NY State Governor Cuomo. Both pandering to something that has morphed into stupid without an end in sight.  Historical distortion of events, personages, and truth has now reached epic proportions.  The blatant disregard to dialogue has turned the country into an ignorant caricature of  politicians attempting to seem “woke” or empathetic while thugs destroy public property with immunity.  So what’s with Teddy?  What’s the beef?

Statue of Teddy Roosevelt outside NY American Museum of Natural History

Theodore Roosevelt was the most beloved  American President and entrepreneur of the 20th century.  He embodied the  American dream, the “can do” attitude that built a country everybody wants to be in and those currently in it want to destroy. Theodore Roosevelt was an adventurer. He was also a progressive long before being progressive was considered “hip”. He served for a short time as Governor of NY State, but spent most of his life travelling across the country and finding ways to preserve its beauty.  He designated wild parks, trails, and nature walks as areas for enjoyment.  But all of this has been put aside in an attempt by the likes of De Blasio and Cuomo to find Teddy‘s statue “problematic”. 

Two figures join Teddy: a native American and an African man.  Both representing the two continents where Teddy travelled and had adventures in.  But wait, he is on a horse and they are beneath him; a definite sign of colonial supremacy and racism. That’s the narrative.  Even the great grandson of Teddy chimed into the absurd.  Theodore Roosevelt IV does not think that the statue reflects his ancestor’s “legacy”. Whatever that means.   By the way, Mr. Roosevelt “the IV” is one of the trustees and on the board of the Museum.  Let’s appease stupid to keep our pocket book lined and throw the great grandfather under the bus.

Alexander Stephens

I have only recently found out that we have a Monument Removal Brigade.  Can’t make this up.  A self appointed morality squad.  They determine the what is socially and morally unacceptable and we must comply. They have been operating since 2017 after the White Supremacist march in Charlottesville. They were behind the initial removal of the Confederate statues in the South.  To be fully honest and transparent; I personally don’t have  a problem with any of those statues being removed.  The losing side should never be glorified in bronze.  As soon as the Cold War ended, the first casualties of freedom were the statues of Lenin.  We all rejoiced when we watched the Iraqis topple the statue of Saddam Hussein.  And we applauded as Leningrad was again renamed St. Petersburg. Honoring “heroes” of the Confederacy is questionable to say the least.  The Confederacy was based on “the great truth, that the negro is not equal to the white man; that slavery – subordination to the superior race…” (Alexander Stephens, Vice-President of the Confederacy – Cornerstone Speech, Savannah, Georgia March 21, 1861).  As Henry Olsen so eloquently concluded in his Washington Post opinion column (June 24, 2020), “Monuments to this revolting sentiment have no place in the United States that is dedicated to the opposite principle-that all men are created equal”.  I agree.

Ulysses Grant

But why go after Grant, the general who defeated the Confederacy? Or Washington, who defeated colonialism? Or Lincoln, the President who went to war for emancipation? What stupid has entered our society? What historical ignorance is lurking in the halls of our academia? Have we reached a point in our country that fact and truth is irrelevant? Is erasing the truth easing the alleged pain? If we are to go back in history and punish all those who wanted a segregated South, or owned slaves, then we should start with Congress.  Southern Democrats owned slavery and segregation. 

Robert Byrd statue in W. Virginia State Capitol

Remember Robert Byrd? Oldest Democratic Senator from West Virginia?  Loved by Hillary Clinton, and eulogized by President Obama as a “voice of principle and reason”. When Byrd died in 2010, then Vice President Biden called him a “dear friend”. Robert Byrd was a self-admitting KKK honcho.  In the early 1940’s he led a 150 member chapter of the KKK as their Exalted Cyclops.  Whatever that meant. In 1945, when he returned from WWII he passionately lamented to then Democratic Senator from Mississippi, Theodore Bilbo, another segregationist, that the military was on the verge of integrating its troops.  The “principled” Byrd wrote that he would rather die and see the flag trampled in the dirt than to “…see this beloved land of ours become degraded by race mongrels”.  His supporters will tell you that he later renounced his KKK affiliation and regretted it. How convenient when it’s one of your own. In the meantime no liberal has found his statue still standing in the State Capitol of West Virginia “problematic” or offensive. No monument police has been sent out to deface or remove. Go figure.

Churchill statue boarded up for protection.

The “idiotic” is not confined to Uncle Sam. Across the pond, bands of thugs went after Winston Churchill.   The man who saved Great Britain and Europe from Nazism.  Unfortunately, the past is a path no one wants to take.  The slave trade flourished in Africa because blacks sold blacks.  They had no moral compass that held them back from selling their own to white slave traders. We don’t need to go that far back.  On a “normal” weekend, deaths in Chicago are in double digits.  Blacks killing blacks. Slavery is not one dimensional and is not owned by black ethnicity only.  The first recorded slaves were the Jews.  Taken by force to Egypt and eventually to Europe by the Romans. The Pyramids were built by slaves. Do we pull them down? In the Mediterranean, the Ottoman Empire ran amok, landing on small islands and taking inhabitants as slaves.  Gozo, the small island off the coast of Malta was raided regularly and its inhabitants carted away.

The free world was built on the backs of many, but it also flourished through the mindset of those who fought to redeem, regret, forgive, and learn.  The millions risking their lives attempting to reach our shores should be testimonial to the country’s redeeming factors not its troublesome past.  Is there racism in America? I’m certain there is. Is there bigotry? I’m also certain there is. Are Americans by nature both? No.  Americans have died and still die protecting others. They are the first to assist in disasters and conflict. They are generous to a fault. Are they perfect? No.

Flossenburg Labor Camp 1940

I live 45 minutes away from a Nazi slave labor camp in Germany.  A reminder of evil beyond imagination.  How can humans dehumanize each other so succinctly? Germany left its concentration camps and labor camps open to the public as a lesson in a country gone bad. Nurnberg, the epicenter of the Third Reich, still has vivid reminders of the Fuhrer’s madness and craving for imperial greatness.  Germany did not hide its past, it left it exposed as atonement. Proof of what it inflicted is the shame and guilt that every generation of Germans since WWII must carry.  Removing its “monuments” to Nazism would have also erased the memory of the six million that died in camps as inconsequential. Those wounds must remain open.

Every generation has a past. How far is atonement relevant? Religious zeal has killed and tortured in the name of God for millennia.  Are we going to burn churches down? The Ottoman Empire ravaged Europe in the name of Islam.  Are we going to burn Mosques down? How far back do we want to go to satisfy those who want reparation? The Roman Empire? The Greek Empire? The rabid anti-civilization leftist movement is seeking a better future by erasing the past. A page from Lenin’s playbook.  How did that work out?

Olsen, H. (June 24, 2020) Anti-statue movement has taken an absurd turn. Stars and Stripes. The Washington Post.

Light is at the end of the tunnel

Our vaterland is easing Corona restrictions resiliently and determinedly as we move toward the 5th week of isolation.  Not that life has been harsh in beautiful Bavaria.  Until I’m at the local grocery store where everyone wears and breaths through masks like Darth Vader, I would not know that there is a health crises. My morning walks continue, and I still hold appointments with clients.  Life has continued relatively unscathed in our small Bavarian community.  Our Corona angst was several decibels lower than everyone else’s. 

Thanks to Frau Merkel, we expect some businesses to open by April 20th, and high schools to open by the first week in May.  Large gatherings are still banned until August. I think the latter is putting a damper on things more than any other restriction.  Oktoberfest normally kicks off end of September, and soccer season is in full swing come June; a quandary for organizers of these large events. Lest we forget; beer fests, outdoor concerts, and wine fests are staples for any decent German enjoying the summer.   But Germans have taken everything in their stride with discipline and determination that prompted Frau Merkel to give everyone a pat on the back for a job well done.

Bar in Stockholm

As we move forward toward normalcy or semblance thereof,  I reflect and opine on the rapid government decision to lock us up.  Fear and mass hysteria mostly fueled by the media and cable news “experts” prompted politicians to react lest they are thought of being complacent.  But not everyone followed suit.  Sweden was the lonely reed that held out in favor of self determination.  The Swedish government decided to “appeal to the common sense” of its people.  That’s a tall order. They requested social distancing, working from home, refraining from unnecessary travel, and school closures for a few extra weeks.  Restaurants and other services remained open with an appeal to keep customers apart.  Very civilized. Very gemutlichkeit as the Germans would say.

Marlene Riedel, Communications Officer for the European Council on Foreign Relations, and a Swede living in Berlin, misses her country right now. Back home she would be enjoying life. Marlene has some interesting observations on Sweden. It seems that Swedes unlike their Southern EU cousins refrain from handshaking or any intimate gestures so familiar in other European countries. As she so aptly put it, Swedes practice distancing all their lives.  They are not prone to large gatherings not even families, and even on bus stops they keep their distance. The majority of Swedes already work from home. But Sweden’s Nordic neighbors are not amused.  Sweden has been called naïve, slow, and crazy.  One impassioned Danish journalist went as far as calling Sweden a “horror movie” ready to happen. But Sweden kept its course. Sweden to date has about the same reported cases as its neighbors and the same number of deaths, but they did not find it necessary to close down the economy.  Although the jury is still out, it remains scathingly remarkable how the Swedish government decided to stand by its own scientific and health advisors rather than by “political considerations”. Translation: they prefer their own judgment to being pushed by a political agenda . Sweden has balls! (Pardon the pun).

Let’s face it, this year is shot to shit. Economies are now crap and forget about sunny beaches anywhere.  Our lives have been put on hold.  Will our lives ever return to normal?  What I find disturbing is how we easily allowed governments to take over our lives and civil liberties without resistance. A little perspective is in order. The CDC reports that since  2010, between 9 million and  45 million Americans have been infected by the annual flu epidemic. 140,000-810,000 Americans have also been hospitalized with the flu in the same time frame. The 2017-2018 flu season killed 61,000 Americans.  The 2014-2015 flu season killed 51,000 Americans.  No angst at any time.  No quarantine, no social distancing, no economic closures, and no panic.  As a matter of fact since 2010, except for the appeal to the public to be vaccinated against the flu, life went on as usual. So what changed? What red button was pushed to detain us? Have we set a precedent? Are we going to lock countries up every time some asshole sets a virus loose?

Woman in Wuhan barricaded in her home.

Reports from China were frightening on several levels.  Besides lying to the world, Chinese authorities went as far as locking down Wuhan citizens without cause relying only on “suspicion” of being infected.  Locking up meant barricading people in their own homes. Most were dragged out of homes to be tested and then locked up.  Neighbors snitched on neighbors. Images of people resisting authorities should get a rise out of us. Are we okay with that? Do we really want our government to poke and test us without our consent to “protect” us? Are we prepared to be locked in our homes without recourse? Are we prepared to give up our basic civil liberties every time a flu or unknown disease hits our shores?  If we did it for Corona why not for influenza? It kills more people.  Are we prepared for mandatory vaccinations, examinations, testing, and prodding when the next virus angst hits us?

Governments and politicians reacted to political pressure.  At the end of the day votes matter. I’m sure that after the world settles down the finger pointing will start in earnest.  

Donald G. McNeil Jr of The New York Times is  a science and health reporter specializing in plagues and pestilence. In a March 26th article he scathingly outlined what went wrong with the US response to the virus.  The New York Times is not one of my favorite newspapers, but I went to the dark side and found light.

Mr. McNeil outlined a few facts succinctly. The US is the 3rd most populated country in the world with approximately 337 million people.  The potential for a virus to spread is greater than other countries. But some failings could have been avoided. Trump’s calm denial followed by incoherent and mixed messages failed to give any precise guidelines or the extent of the situation. This was further compounded by the drastic shortage of protection equipment, to include masks. The country also lacked adequate testing and was caught with its pants down so to speak.  Mr. McNeil spreads the blame equally among politicians who in February were more concerned with impeaching Trump, putting Harvey Weinstein behind bars, Brexit, and Climate Change. But if Trump had given even one second of his attention to the virus which by February had already killed hundreds of people in Italy, I am certain he would have been accused of attempting to deflect from his impeachment trial. 

Waiting to be tested in NYC

At this point I must also add that until March 8th, Governor Cuomo of New York still refused to outline any guidelines. In an interview on FNC Sunday Morning Futures, he told Maria Bartiromo that there was no reason for panic, as the few cases appeared in Westchester county were “a cluster”. He did not predict any similar problem in NYC, plus he wanted to avoid panic at all costs.  How did that work out Governor?

We will soon enter into the could have, should have, would have, phase of politics especially as we slowly move toward the US general election in November.  The circus will soon come to town with accusations and second guessing, each side throwing blame like flame throwers at a street festival.  I doubt that had it been someone else in the White House they would have done any better.  Politicians on both sides have failed Americans miserably in health, education, and leadership. Americans have lost their trust in their government. But most important; Americans have lost their grit and ability to cope.  A progressive social agenda has rendered the country impotent.  Panic has replaced logic. Politics has replaced common sense.  Sensationalism has replaced journalism. Opinion has replaced truth.  Yes, it’s going to be interesting the post Corona era.  Some politicians will rise while others will fall.  Will we be better prepared the next time some idiot lets loose another viral crap? Who knows, but I doubt it. 

I am not ashamed to admit that being isolated in Bavaria is not a hardship.  Inconvenient at times but nothing major.  No unnecessary angst.  No panic at grocery stores. No fighting for toilet paper.  An abundance of beer and wine sooths the Bavarian temperament adequately. As I sit in the garden with a nice glass of wine a smirk escapes my lips: it doesn’t get better than this.

Week three of Corona and the “woke” generation

Third week into our Corona isolation and weird is the norm.  The epidemic is slowly revealing a generation of unable to cope with life.  The angst has reached shrill pitch and staying home is now requiring mental health “advisors”. The “woke” generation is learning a stiff lesson in accountability, responsibility, and financial inconvenience.  Stupid has peaked into hysteria.

My morning paper is cover to cover Corona.  An annoyance in itself since I keep on reading the same crap day after day.  How many times do we have to tell morons to stay home? But then how many times did we tell people that they should saved at least two months’ salary? The gizmo generation is stuck on a couch with only Sony or Apple as companionship.  Their fingers tired from texting, and brain fried by microwaves, they are itching for the outside world, suddenly realizing that they have been zombies for the best part of their lives.

My mother’s generation managed to go through WWI, Spanish flu, Polio epidemics, diphtheria, measles, mumps, chickenpox, WWII and Korea; with limited resources and sans much angst. Some of them managed to later walk on the moon. They managed to survive by sheer belief that one must plough through the bad to get to the good.  They conquered adversity like warriors not entitled twits.  I wonder what  my mother would have said if she had read that women are in total panic because childbirth “support” people have been denied access to the delivery room? Oy Vey!

My mother’s generation of women delivered millions of kids, us included, in bedrooms, barns, fields, and if lucky enough; a hospital.  Their “support” person totaled a midwife or a neighbor.  If things went well, the baby was born and the mother was up in two days cleaning the house and probably taking care of other urchins.  Often things did go bad.  But life went on.  Pragmatically and sustainably. Fast forward to my generation, when albeit conditions fared better and with more comfort, we also managed to deliver kids sans “support” persons.  We sweated, we cursed, we kicked, and we blamed the son of a bitch who put us through the hell we were going through in the first place. We all swore off sex on that delivery bed.  I could have easily reached for the nearest IV needle and stabbed anyone in the groin.  It was childbirth. The grit women were made of. What most of us boasted about. The ante we had on men. Unfortunately, today’s feminists define grit only as marching for the right to abortion in pink goofy hats. An oxymoron on resilience and courage.  We substituted our Amazonian hutzpah with political activism that is often vulgar, minute, and extremely underrated.

And so the angst continues. I sip on my coffee and gag as I read that pregnant women are now in unsolicited panic because hospitals are restricting “support” people during delivery.  So I keep on reading how In recent years hospitals started  “stork nesting” programs; allowing for  “support” people to be in attendance.  The insured have been footing the bill for people who want to feel good about themselves.  A natural process has been reduced to a another “feel good” entitlement. A generation conditioned to think that it is entitled to a life without pain, discomfort, and bad experiences. A generation totally immune to unpleasantness. I was unaware that childbirth had suddenly morphed into a team building event. Who’d have thought?

But my daily dose of nausea was not over yet. Over a bite of apple and peanut butter I discovered that we are entitled to be saved from ourselves. Bring on the morons who are stuck on cruise ships off the coast of Florida, bitching because the governor is refusing them landing.  And this is his and our problem how?  The virus has been making its party rounds since January, and seriously spreading since February.  Opting to lull on a large sea faring Petri dish  with 5,000 other morons is your problem.  That’s like knowing there are flames inside a building and you still insist on entering. My sympathy has been reduced to minus digits. Stupid is as stupid does. I personally refuse to have my tax dollars spent on saving idiots who might produce other idiots from their loins.

Corona is an eye opener.  When staying home for two weeks is psychologically damaging, then the nation’s brains we have supposedly nurtured have sprung a leak.  Trace the lack of fortitude to thirty years of telling kids that they are God’s gift to humankind.  Dumb or not, they deserve a trophy. A big pat on the back to the “equality” politically correct police who convinced parents, educators, and the easily swayed morons that everybody is equal in substance and intellect.  We raised the village idiot to the status of Einstein.  We have provided “safe spaces” for the inept, and compelled them to pursue useless “studies” that are neither marketable nor needed. Yet we failed to teach life coping mechanisms and survival skills. We have even given them “life” coaches whatever and whoever they are.  We put this crap on the forefront of our children’s lives and put common sense, discipline, will power, and disappointment on the back burner; raising a generation of idiotic self-centered weaklings.

My breakfast is over, which is my cue to stop reading more “needy” anguished garbage. I close my paper and wonder how many distraught couch potatoes are on the brink of despair.  I also wonder how many parents are tearing their hair out because they have suddenly realized that they have raised little shits (I stole that from my teacher daughter)  not shining star geniuses.  Yes, the virus might be a blessing in disguise; but for how long?

Is life as we knew it over? Second week in lockdown.

We are now into week two of our Bavarian Corona lockdown.  One can easily get used to the silent streets, clean air, quiet neighbors, and boredom. But eventually we get comfortable in our day wear (pajamas) while days roll by like an old rolodex.  I now know how hamsters feel.  Lock them up, spin that wheel long enough, and they will eventually look forward to it.  It is an insidious situation of wanting to leave the house but our butts won’t budge because it is too much of an effort.  We are now conditioned. I don’t leave the house without carrying latex gloves like a pervert. When this blows over (pardon the pun) I would still be walking six feet away from everybody else just in case.

We are now in the pre-corona remembrance state.  Do any of us recall what life was like when we could be obnoxious without having to think about catching anything?  The joy of being jostled on a busy street, bus, or subway? Businesses are out of business.  Whether a brothel or a jewelry store, we are all up the same creek. The joy of working from home.

I understand the trepidation in Europe, because borders were nonexistent and travel across EU states was virtually unhindered. Which is why the virus spread so rapidly.  Italy took the brunt. Started in the North, in Milan, where fashion designers and brand name houses wheel, deal, and flourish. They are the ones who do the most business with China.  From fabric to leather, China provides high end brands with lower priced resources and labor.

 Milan is “China Town” to name brands like Prada, Gucci, Armani, and many others.  In 2007, Gucci, D & G, and Prada were investigated by investigative journalists from one of Italy’s national television stations, RAI-3.  The journalists discovered that the expensive “stuff” might have been “made in Italy”,  but by Chinese immigrants often in slave labor conditions. In 2008, The Los Angeles Times wrote a piece called “Slaving in the Lap of Luxury”. Another expose on fashion houses in Tuscany and other parts of Northern Italy. Large manufacturing factories of high end goods were little more than sweatshops with poor sanitary conditions, and extreme low wages.  Most of the Chinese were from the Wenzhou region in China.  According to EU labor laws, a manufacturer can claim the country where the product is manufactured or assembled as the country of origin. A subtle legal loophole that brought myriad of Chinese workers into Northern Italy.  The perfect connection from China to Italy to corona.  Greed knows no bounds.

We are now living in the epicenter of the Chinese Virus, except that we can’t call it that because it is considered racist, or so we are told.  We had no problem calling a flu Spanish although it never originated in Spain.  No problem calling a flu African either.  But this is the dawning of the age of politically correctness where stupid is raised to another level.  In the meantime, our lives as we knew them, have changed forever.  Akin to 9/11, we will never travel the same way again, interact with people the same way again, or even leave our homes the same way again.  If this continues through the summer, we would have conditioned ourselves to never shake hands, hug, or touch anyone again.  Are we anticipating a science fiction pod type of life in the corona aftermath?

I for one am taking the entire experience as a work in progress. Each day I brace myself like a trooper. My eyebrows are still plucked, and I will hopefully manage to hide the grey from my hair long enough to psych myself into believing that grey is the new blond.  I might even wear my grey as a badge honor like those “I survived” goofy t-shirts college kids wear.  My nails remain trimmed and even if I have to venture into the grocery store, stand at my pre-conditioned social distance, watching the masked latexed cashier run my groceries; my make-up remains impeccably applicated.

Gas is now at its lowest price I can remember in probably a decade. With no one on the streets, gas stations are lowering prices from one masked breath to the next.  The price I drive by in the morning changes south by mid afternoon.  No complaints here.  But I can also envision the prices going up the minute we are told that we are free to continue our lives sans corona.

The virus has replaced all other world angst.  Heard anyone talking about Climate Change lately?  Where is our teenage climate change ninja; Greta? She must be going through some serious withdrawals. Her face contorts as she realizes that we are experiencing the cleanest climate in decades. China has stopped producing toxic crap and instead went into biological zoolonic crap.  Oh for a whiff of carbon emissions at this moment. Will Greta and other banshee activist morons ever realize that they barked up the wrong tree?  That the West is not the main culprit of climate degradation?  I wonder what convulsions Ms Greta would experience if she realizes that the “climate friendly” boat she sailed on was probably made in China, and contributed more to the world’s pollution than my emission guilty roadster ever will.  Well, the oomph has gone out of that balloon with a swipe of a contaminated hand and a cough.

Every day is a moment in time when we attempt to establish some norm in this crazy.  I find myself timing my day between writing, eating, studying, working, and Netflix.  What to do first?  I am sleeping later because the quiet is surreal. Not a sound of tires, footsteps, or dogs.  The mail person is the highlight of the day. If at all possible, he or she would throw the mail through the mail box.  Last week I had the first package delivered at the established corona distance.  The DHL man did not want my signature on the receipt.  If he could have thrown it through the front door he would have.  So I gingerly balanced myself to grab it as he tailed it out of dodge.  I was compelled to yell: “Hey, I’m not sick!” Skid marks are still on the asphalt. Oy Vey.

I heard that distilleries are going to start manufacturing sanitizers.   Adding a little bit of this and that to their original product.  I intend to use the sanitizer on both hands, lick them, then settle down with a good cigar!  Car manufacturers will be going into respiratory equipment; let’s hope that we have no recalls. I can stand behind a BMW, Mercedes, or Volvo respirator; but I have a problem with a Ford.

Every cloud has a silver lining.  This exercise in regimental regulated living should sit well with the young socialist voters.  We are going through a quick drill in socialist living.  Nothing to buy, nowhere to go, nothing to do, and miserable.  This is life under government regulations.  A government that dictates what is good for you, when, and how.  Which brings me to the young college morons at Spring Break in Miami.  The  intellectual elite who want us, taxpayers, to pay for their education because they think they deserve it.  After their blatant refusal to abide by the restrictions imposed by the government, I submit that they would not fare very well in a Socialist “Amerika.”  Good luck with that dream.

As I walk past my neighbors’ front doors I realize that I have not seen them for almost two weeks.  They have vanished. Swallowed by brick , mortar and fear.  I stop as I get this sudden strong urge to yell, “Is anyone still in there?” But I hesitate , as I conjure up third eyes, two heads, and long fangs creeping behind dark walls. I slowly tiptoe past a front door and suddenly catch a familiar hand waving through the laced curtains of a closed window.  A sigh of relief. I am safe. I can now return to my corona life of tranquility and day wear (pyjamas)!

So what’s with toilet paper?

It is the epidemic of the century, or so they say, and what is getting people mostly hyped about is the possibility of their life without toilet paper.  It’s a phenomenon worth looking into.  Shelves and shelves of toilet paper disappeared overnight like the “rapture” in a Hallmark movie.  The eighth locust plague was a doddle compared to the insidious snatching of rolls on our supermarket shelves.  The panic and the angst of a life sans toilet paper would have given Sigmund Freud a new purpose in life.  So why the compulsion?

I can understand older Europeans in their 80’s and 90’s being concerned with food and staple shortages.  They lived through the devastation of WWII Europe, where toilet paper would have been considered a luxury.  I remember my own mother who went  into a hoarding frenzy every time the news mentioned “war”.  It could have been in South America, but the buzz word was enough to send her to the local store and buy enough toilet paper to last her through several life times.  That I can possibly wrap my mind around.  But the younger generation is an enigma to me.  Are they so utterly unprepared for any kind of hardship that they cannot imagine or have a plan B for ass wiping sans Charmin?  One can’t help being crude because it does involve that part of our body that is taboo in polite company but fair game in a supermarket.

The penchant for hoarding is not new.  If a heat wave is predicted; stores run out of ice, fans, and air conditioners.  If the weatherman predicts cold; then oil prices rise, we run out of heaters, snow shovels, and salt.  The panic of today’s society is beyond any other that our parents or grandparents ever exhibited.  They were told to suck it up.  That gave them a sense of perspective of what should be considered a catastrophe. Life and death was a panic situation, not having enough paper to wipe your ass was not.  But we are talking about the current “trophy” generation ;  conditioned to think that they are God’s gift to mankind and anything short of complete comfort is Armageddon.  They are sans grit, sans gravitas.

The virus panic has crossed ethnicity, gender, time zones, and social standing.  “Doctors” opine on cable news and put their two cents in promising us that their truth is the truth.  Which should make us ask; if we do not have a reasonable vaccine or a cure, doesn’t logic dictate that we really don’t know shit about it? Why speculate?  Because it sells ratings.  In the meantime mainstream media’s over the top call to arms has raised everyone’s blood pressure and urged some of us to become rabid and raid supermarkets out of toilet paper.  

To put everything in perspective. The world population is approximately 8 billion. According to the latest WHO statistics, the current number of Corona infected individuals worldwide is 101,000; .00128% of the world population.  Influenza infects approximately 1 billion individuals worldwide each year.  Killing annually between 291,000 – 646,000 people worldwide. Approximately 45 million are infected by influenza each year in the US.  According to the CDC approximately 56,000 die of it. Currently, the US corona cases have numbered to approximately 2,000 with 56 deaths; mostly elderly and those suffering with immune systems. The current population of the US is approximately 333 million. 56 deaths is .00000017% of the population.  Catch my drift? But the frenzy trumpet sounded, and the unmitigated rush to the toilet paper aisle took off.

Cans of soup, sauces, and sundry still remain gently resting on our supermarket shelves in Germany.  However, one does notice shopping carts filled to the brim with beer and wurst.  After all next to “ass” comforts,  to a true Bavarian, a beer and a wurst makes the prospect of quarantine more bearable.  In Bavaria, the angst is less apparent. Less pronounced.  Schools have closed for an extended spring break and Gast Hauser are taking a sabbatical.  But other than that, the tranquil life of Bavaria is still moving along at its usual slow pace.  At least for now. Frau Merkel did crease her Arian brown in constrained Corona concern, but not to the extent that we have seen in other parts of the world. Germany has a population of approximately 81 million. Up to date: 3,795 cases have been identified and 26 deaths reported. More than 26 Germans have died on the autobahn this year. Perspective?

I will not predict what unprecedented angst will suddenly arise tomorrow. Toilet paper at a neighborhood Lidl  left the building as quickly as Elvis left a Vegas stage.  A young German couple were lately interviewed on a local television station at an attempt to explain the toilet paper corona caper.  They divulged that their next door neighbors made three separate trips to the supermarket to buy the much coveted toilet paper.  They each bought three large packets of 24 rolls.  By the time the young interviewed couple decided to get their quota of toilet paper; the local store had none .  When the reporter asked what they intended to do, they stoically, quietly, and without missing a beat replied; “go next door”.

According to Mary Alvord, Associate Professor of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at George Washington University School of Medicine; toilet paper represents an almost “infantile” primal desire to be clean.  It’s inherent. It is a product that we associate with cleanliness, good living, and beautiful people.  It’s a desperate urge to remain unsoiled.   It’s a psychological drive that compels us to keep our asses clean. A behavior attributed to our upbringing and social expectations.  Just for the hell of it I Googled “hoarding toilet paper” and a long list of possibilities dropped down like manna.  From Time to the media guru The Washington Post; psychologists, psychiatrists, therapists, and all genre of “experts” opined on a myriad of mental possibilities and conditions that compel us to go out in droves and clean supermarkets of ass wipes. I’m sure some Ivy League university has a “study” on “toilet paper compulsion in the world today.”

Bavaria’s roads are reasonably quiet, the weather is getting warmer, and spring is around the corner. As I contemplate what other panic-button restrictions I might have to endure in the next few days, I quickly jump out of my chair on a mission of great import. I must  check on my staple storage room in the basement.  I open the door, turn on quickly the light, and a sigh of utmost relief escapes my puckered lips.  Toilet Paper is safely tucked on the top shelf.  What a wonderful feeling of contentment. The world is as it should be.

Why I love National Geographic…

I have never yearned or had the compelling urge to visit third world countries, eat monkey brains, bat wings, snake innards, worm soup, or other bizarre shit of that ilk.  Any place that I would have to forage for unmentionables as a source of food was off my list.  My bucket list is obviously short.  Which brings me to China and the Corona Virus.  Has anyone noticed that these viruses and diseases always seem to take root in developing countries?  I have never heard of a virus from Finland, Sweden, Norway, or Iceland.  Their taste of exotic food stops at fermented fish; disgusting yes, but causing viruses no.

Fried Cockroaches

I am a closet Netflix watcher and an avid “cooking show” junkie.  Whatever they are cooking I watch.  I got hooked on a new series called Restaurants on the Edge.  Started watching it when the first episode featured a restaurant in Malta.  Much of the same reality premise just rehashed: three personalities from the US descend upon a restaurant that needs help.  An interior designer, a chef, and a social guru, visit the restaurant than decide on how to give it a facelift, new menu, and the push needed to stay in business.  On one of these episodes, they travelled to Hong Kong, China. 

The Chef whose mantra is local produce and local flavors, was taken to a street market which also doubled as “street” food.  He oohed and aahed as he watched little Chinese old ladies cook snakes, cow innards, and other unmentionables in spices and sauces.  He supped, licked, and drooled over flavors that tasted like “chicken”.  And we wonder how diseases get transferred from China to an apartment in NYC! A short note of interest: when the Chef returned to the restaurant to upgrade the menu, it was sans snakes, innards, or other creepy crawlies that tasted like “chicken” a few hours prior.  Go figure.

Wet Market in China

Eating street food in Calcutta or “nowhere” China is a far cry from selling and eating food in Los Angeles or New York.  What goes in those huge woks is as mysterious as what comes out of a bad magician’s hat. Africa is no better.  Aids and Ebola come to mind.  The Corona virus which is normally animal specific spread to humans through a “wet” market place in Wuhan, China. The market happened to be in close proximity to a research lab home to approximately 600 bats.  At least this is what the Chinese government allowed us to know.  But some Chinese scientists in Beijing are now suspecting that someone from the Wuhan science lab, inadvertently caught the virus through a bat encounter, and then spread it through the neighboring “wet” market. The virus is categorized as zoolonic , but when transferred to humans it changes composition and mutates attacking our respiratory system. Which is why it is more dangerous in older folk. By the way, for those of you who are not sure what “wet” markets are; live stock and other animals are slaughtered and sold at open air markets generally under very unsanitary conditions.

Swine Fever in China

In 2019, China lost over 100 million pigs to African Swine Fever.  Notice; it was not called German Swine Fever, or Swedish Swine Fever, or even California Swine Fever.  Diseases and epidemics continue to spread because developing countries remain unhygienic, with little or no government sanitary oversight, and traditional eating habits which include animal species carrying intrinsic viruses and often plagues.  Which brings me to the point of why I love National Geographic. 

National Geographic does the travelling, eating, and contaminating on my behalf without detriment to my well being.  I can sit comfortably in the comfort of my couch sipping a glass of wine while watching presumptuous yahoos eat monkey brains in the Congo.  At the same time I can wonder and marvel at how a seemingly intelligent individual can bring himself to eat snake tripe, scorpion soup, and beetle fricassee just because he can.  The National Geographic “journalist-explorer” will look at the camera while eagerly chewing on fried cockroaches.  I’m sure they too taste like chicken. Yes, spare me the pain but still give me the adventure.

Enters exotic world travel that sends morons to nether regions of the world to have an “awesome” experience. We then compound the situation by the sick crap they bring back. And as we relax with a Starbucks somewhere on Main Street USA, we are unaware of the garbage that will soon hit the proverbial health fan.  The double and triple digit tonnage of a floating Petri dish with 5,000 or more souls on board, eating food that has been exposed to the elements for days, and who disembark in ports that are less sanitary than a New York City public toilet; further adds to the incoming plethora of unknown viruses and diseases. 

The penchant to travel to countries not best known for hygiene has become an obsession among this generation.  In my youth, only medical doctors, nurses, archeologists, and missionaries ever ventured out into an “awesome” experience.  On their return they were immediately put in quarantine.   But I digress.  Some might call me a bigot but once again I must remind you that serious diseases have never originated in western countries.  Even the European plagues were brought to Europe by ships carrying vermin from “exotic” places.  Again I digress.

Cruise ships are not the only travelling Petri dishes.  Airlines are the ultimate toilets in the skies.  Crammed like sardines and breathing each other’s arm pits, the air that circulates comes from the breath of the 300 cramped transatlantic zombies strapped to their seats.  Add the fact that airline travelers  have morphed from the sophisticated 60’s Pan Am passenger to the unwashed masses that board a plane in their pajamas; they are the proverbial incubators for anything and everything they catch in some remote “must see” market in Timbuktu.

China, India, South America, and Africa create havoc in our world and we ignore it, because “racist” “bigot” and “insensitive” gets thrown in our faces like confetti on the 4th of July.  They are the worst polluters in the world, and they are the primary source of microbiological viruses and epidemics that spread like wildfire.  There was a short pleasant world reprieve; in the past few weeks NASA satellites noticed a sharp drop in pollutants over China.   The Coronavirus closed down lithium, coal, and other toxic factories for a few weeks.  I wonder if the 15-year old angry teenage twit in Sweden noticed.  Hey Greta, it’s not us who pollute!

The EU and US are at a crossroads on developing countries. They need to get a grip and start taking serious action against nations that take our money but refuse to clean up their acts.  I would not wish any economy to go South, but western governments throw money at these nations like a croupier in Vegas, yet they still spread AIDS, SARS, Swine flu, Ebola, and now Corona. Western religious organizations have spent billions on assistance, as have Doctors without Borders, UNESCO, and the WHO; to no avail. The global community must insist on a change in dangerous traditional eating habits, hygiene, and safety.  Stop the aid until they clean up their act. Stop the cruises, flights, and commerce until governments become serious enough to educate and change. If you want our hard earned dollars then make an effort to protect us when we visit you. Join the 21st century already.

In the meantime, I will wash my hands 20+ seconds, then position myself with a glass of wine as I turn on Netflix and National Geographic.  I heard that tonight the show features a special cooking show from the exotic jungles and rainforests of the Congo. Someone mentioned Gordon Ramsey’s famous Beef Wellington with a twist: African striped weasel en croute….YUM! I’m sure it will taste like chicken!